On Being Self-Motivated

As I reflect back on this past year so far, it’s fascinating to me the abundance of change that can happen in 12 months. Last year at this time I was healing from my 3rd of the 4 surgeries. Many days were a struggle because I wasn’t where I wanted to be and I couldn’t get there fast enough. I wanted desperately to be healed and pain free. The entire experience taught me patience and time are essential in transformation. We are all human beings and it’s natural to want immediate gratification because we are used to it whether it’s ordering a latte expecting it to take a minute or calling the cell phone company to handle a bill at 8pm at night because you finally have time to deal with and you know they are still open. For me, I was frustrated transformation wasn’t happening fast enough. This was my lesson to learn which was have patience and trust in the universe that everything will work out because everything is as it should be if you believe and have faith.

Now that I am healed and pain free, feeling better physically and emotionally then I have ever been in my life, I celebrate with gratitude. As I transition careers the patience I had to develop while going through my health experiences have been put into action. On the opposite I am human and have days where I question what hell I am doing. Should I be doing more? Am I on the really on the right path? I believe these questions are natural given the situation and journey I am on. The learning lesson I am going through now is being chill living in the unknown and it’s okay if you don’t have the answer in this moment. I trust the path before me is the one I am supposed to be on now.

Even though I know I am on the right path it’s scary being so uncomfortable and unfamiliar every direction you turn! I was talking to a friend recently about this because she is going through a job change, learning new endeavors. It’s not like you experience physical discomfort it’s more like a mental discomfort. You want to run the other way except you don't. Reflecting back on my progress over the past 10 years I realized I loved living in the status quo. I was more than comfortable going to work collecting my paycheck and using it to pay for vacations that I desperately needed. Self-development- what is that? My serious thought pattern was you only live once; enjoy life and keeping working to get that paycheck even though you are not fulfilled at the end of the day. The problem was I began to feel emptier and emptier after I returned back to the office after time away.

One year later I am positioning myself in situations that I would have shied away from 12 months ago. What keeps me moving forward and progressing is the exhilarating and empowering feelings that rush over oneself each time you conquer something you believed in your heart you could do without knowing how you were going to arrive there. The scenario could be something as small as finishing a self-development book or making it up the steep hill on a walk and no longer running out of breath. These were my real successes. I have taught myself to view experiences in life and conquering goals LARGE or SMALL as motivation for the next steps.

In times when I fall back in my head and the old patterns of thought attempt to creep in, I have a series of questions I go through to help me get back to the present moment. I also tell myself to remember where everything began, in stillness and on the yoga mat. Quieting the mind is necessary for me to allow the answers to flow in. Even 10 minutes a day can make a world of difference. You could start with 1 minute.

Presence and truth move us forward. I ask myself a series of questions to get my heart back on track. These questions to me are so powerful and thought provoking forcing me to look deep within, I share hoping to help someone else who may need motivation as well.

You are or you aren’t moving forward. You are doing work you enjoy or you aren’t.

You are truly the person you want to be or you are not.

You are in relationships that truly support you or they are not.

You are creating wealth or you are depleting it.

Either you truly believe in yourself or you don’t.

Either you are truly fit and vibrant or you are not.

Either you are truly stepping up or you are backing down.

Which do you want to be? Which sounds more exciting?

I haven’t come all of this way to back down! Who does? But I am afraid to fail! Who isn’t? Moving forward with faith, conviction and trust is what guides me. It’s so important for me to lead the life I talk about every day and speak my truth. My truth right now is I do not know what tomorrow will be or a year from now but I can promise myself whatever I am doing it will be wholeheartedly with conviction, truth and bringing about happiness as my motivator.

Love and Light

-Amber

Pic below: Lake Calhoun- one of my favorite places to walk on the weekends. Being in nature infuses me and energizes my whole being.